Not Your Neurotypical Yoga! With ADHD Academy Member Whitney Spettel

What was it like becoming a parent with ADHD during COVID? It was like a gut punch. There were so many misunderstandings that I had about myself through not having an understanding of my diagnosis. The research is backing up this idea that you have had and then honestly I've had as well. Just having the support and the conversation and the understanding and the tools through this academy has been so healing and so supportive. 

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Today we have a really wonderful guest that I'm very excited to introduce to you, Whitney Spettel. She is a certified yoga teacher who lives in Florida. She was diagnosed with ADHD when she was six years old. And we met when she signed up to the ADHD Academy a few months ago, and she's been a really wonderful and engaging member of our community. So I was excited to have her on and talk a little bit about her experiences and about ADHD and yoga, because I think that is very interesting. Welcome Whitney. Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to be here. Yeah, awesome. Well, let's start just by telling us a little bit about yourself. So you're based in Florida. and you were actually diagnosed quite early. So where are you, you know, your family-based, anything about your diagnosis? Just give us a little bit of a sense of who you are. I live in the Panhandle, Florida area, so very close to the beaches. Our beaches are beautiful here. Very much the typical stereotype. I live where you vacation. And I am native to this area. And I was diagnosed when I was six years old. It was a very early diagnosis. And I think it was very common in the area that I live in and was raised in. I remember my sister, who was just two years older than me, also going through diagnosis at a similar time. She was a different age than me, but there were a lot of kids in the area who were just getting on ADHD medication because teachers were saying, this student is having a really hard time being still and concentrating. Yeah. And so was that your experience? You were one of those students? Yeah, I definitely remember it being a very much a common situation. I didn't feel like it was me being singled out or anything. Um, I just kind of seemed to fall into what was going on in that area in the school systems in our area at the time. Yeah. And so somewhere between then and now you became a yoga instructor. So where were you on your ADHD journey when that happened? When I was diagnosed with ADHD, there never really was a conversation with me about how my ADHD was presenting itself. And so it wasn't until I was about 15 years old that I went off of my medication. So during that time, I was on various different trials of medication. And so I didn't really have an understanding of my ADHD being anything other than me being hyperactive. And then after I went off of the medication, that was when I started noticing the attention deficit disorder. And I struggled all throughout high school trying to really focus and stay on tasks with things. And I realized that it was something that I just did not have the skill for, but I had no desire to go back on my medication. And around the time I was 21 years old, it was at that moment that I had decided I needed to start catering to who I am as an individual. And so I really tried to choose jobs and life situations that catered to who I was as an individual. So I applied for jobs that really allowed me to excel multitasking or really allowed me to practice things like slowing down and being more mindful, such as being a yoga teacher. And so yeah, just having those two things in my lifestyle, something that allowed me to slow down. and focus and cultivate that practice for myself, but also something that allowed me to be my authentic self as well. So it was part of your sort of discovery of you knew you already had ADHD, but it was about finding that you needed to work in a way that was congruent with who you are, both as a person, but also as a person with ADHD and, and yoga was one of those pieces. Yes, absolutely. And I think maybe if I had decided or felt like I could have been on my medication, that wouldn't have necessarily needed to be a piece. But going off of my ADHD medication, I really needed something that was going to help me balance out my inability to focus. Yeah, definitely. And because obviously we're a research podcast, when you were talking about yoga, I pulled up some research that I've shared with you as well, Whitney, around the benefits of yoga for ADHD. Because I think we talk about the benefits of movement for ADHD. But I think the idea that yoga is beneficial is sometimes seen as being just an idea and it's not necessarily known how much research there is around that. So for example, there was a meta-analysis published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies in 2018 that looked at yoga, mindfulness and meditation. And they did a systematic review and they found in those studies, the 11 studies that they looked at, there were some. idea that ADHD was benefited by these things, including yoga. They did mention that it was preliminary, obviously, effect sizes, et cetera, et cetera, but the research is backing up this idea that you have had. And then honestly, I've had as well, because I actually really enjoy doing yoga, that yoga is quite helpful for managing our ADHD. So I'd love to go through with you. Had you heard about that? Have you heard about that connection? Or has that been an experience for you? I imagine the answer is yes. Yeah, you know, I can't say that I've heard that direct connection, but it's not surprising to me by any means. It has definitely been my direct experience. And it's something that I teach as a meditation and mindfulness coach as well, that when you are able to practice to cultivate something, it is then that you are able to take an inner conflict and externalize it. in a way that you were able to work through it on a more tangible way, and you're able to see those physical progresses being made. So if I'm showing up for my yoga practice, for example, to practice a balance sequence, if I continue to do that over time, and I'm dedicating myself to continuing to do that over time, eventually I'll start to see those small increments in change and progress and being balanced. And you can see that also in... You can practice being focused and patient and still and silent. These are all things that you can practice to cultivate in your yoga practice. And it's a safe space to do that so that you don't feel like in the moment you're being confronted with this big ask of be patient and you don't have anything in your lifestyle that has allowed you to cultivate the practice of being patient and sitting still. Yeah. I mean, that's very, very true. That's the only time. That's the only time I'm doing it. Most of the time trying to be mindful, but it's hard to remember. And yeah, that makes a big difference. So can you give me an example of how that impacted your life and your ADHD? Absolutely. Again, just those small increments of taking those small things that you're doing inside of the practice off of the mat. For example, for me, like you were just saying, sitting still and being silent is probably the only time that I'm doing that on my own. And in these opportunities where I'm able to cultivate the practice sitting still and being silent, it's there that I am able to self soothe myself and practice self soothing myself when I am then going to be asked inevitably or given an opportunity to quiet myself down and be still. It's not always manageable for us to do those things in real life, especially when we're not taking the opportunity to cultivate that. this for ourselves. And I think before when I was on my ADHD medication, like I didn't realize that my medication was helping me with that so much, the emotional regulation part of it. And I just, I didn't have any practice with it coming off of that medication. I was on medication from six years old to 15. And so it was a very raw emotional experience, especially being a teenager, trying to figure out how to now regulate myself. And so for me that ability to show up on something that was really allowing me in a safe space to slow down and be patient with my progress and how it was coming to me. It really allowed me to cultivate a practice of self-soothing that I did not have. Yeah, that's a really good point. And, you know, I guess if you were to think about the listener, say that there's a person out there who's going, yeah, that sounds amazing. I like the idea of the outcome. but I've never done anything like yoga. I don't like being still. In fact, I dislike it. What are the first steps that you would recommend? Yeah, well, one of the first things that I always tell my students when we're showing up for a practice is that one of the first things that you're able to identify inside of any yoga class is what type of flow you're in. For example, if you show up to a restorative yoga class, which is a... extremely slow pace yoga class and you're like in a go, go mood, you are quickly able to identify for yourself like this is not where I'm at in my life. And you can make that change for yourself. But also you get that opportunity again to practice how can I self soothe myself when I know that my life is asking me right now to slow down, but I am in my go stage. Like we're not always going to be given the opportunity to slow down. or to speed up when life is asking us to like take a big step back or really pump your breaks. And so what I would advise listeners who are trying to get into the practice but are not necessarily like, I don't know if this is for me. There's so many different types of yoga classes. There are fast-paced yoga classes, there are slow-paced yoga classes, there are dancing yoga classes, there's aerial yoga classes. And you have to kind of try all of them out to figure out what flow you're in. And so I would advise you to try out all the shoes. There's so many different yoga classes. And more importantly, there's so many different yoga instructors. Not all of them are spiritual. And not all of them are going to even preach the mindfulness part of it to you. But you might find it in the playfulness. You might find that mindfulness for yourself. I love that. I love that. You're totally right. There are a lot of different ones. It's like, oh, Ariel. I love yoga, but I don't do it all the time. It's a mood, if you will. Yeah, yoga for every mood. That's a great point. You also came to us through the ADHD Academy. So tell us a little bit about what was happening in your life when you heard about what we were doing and you decided to join. Information was coming at me really, really fast at that point in my life. This was actually the point in my life where I had just realized that I did not have a proper understanding around my diagnosis. This is a point in my life that I had realized that there had never even been a conversation with a medical professional about my diagnosis, and I was diagnosed at six years old. This happened through, I was listening to another podcast from a local podcaster who had the ADHD big brother on her podcast. I started listening to his podcast and he had you guys on there. And through listening to his podcast, like I began to realize that there were so many misunderstandings that I had about myself through not having an understanding of my diagnosis. And so that's where I was at in my life when I came and plug your podcast. Yeah, definitely. And so that sort of feeling, I guess, of you going, oh, I need that additional support is very common. I think a lot of us have that experience where we get the diagnosis. We go down rabbit holes or we just put it in a box and forget about it, essentially depending on when you're diagnosed and what your response is. But at some point you think, okay, I need that extra, extra support. So what would you say the, the moment was for you that made you think now is when I need that extra support. As a mindfulness coach, I always talk to my clients about there being three steps to every process for growth and that's awareness, accountability, and responsibility. And I think It wasn't until I had that awareness that all of these issues that I thought were isolated were actually stemming from my ADHD that I could then take accountability for them. So as soon as I had that awareness that some of these things that I was struggling with were associated to my ADHD, I immediately knew that I needed the support, but I didn't know where to look for it from. So I was really grateful that within just like that stage of having all this information come at me. you guys were some of the information that came at me in your ADHD Academy was the first thing that I felt like was congruent for the support that I was looking for. Yeah, well, we appreciate it as well. So what has your experience been like being a part of the Academy's community? It's been very healing and it's been extremely supportive. You know, when they're like raising a child, they say it takes a village. It definitely feels like you're just in this village of people who are helping you heal your inner child, if you will. A lot of us just have this battle of masking so many ADHD symptoms and the struggles that we all face with how that presents in our lives in so many different ways. just having the support and the conversation and the understanding and the tools through this academy has been so healing and so supportive. Yeah, no, that's awesome. That's really awesome. And in terms of the strategies that you feel that you now have, you mentioned looking for that. Once you understood that you had ADHD and it was affecting so many things, you were looking for a solution or a way to figure these things out. What would you say that you've been able to gain from going through the academy? Because you've already got a lot of strategies, you know, you're doing yoga and all kinds of things. Well, I think through the academy, you guys have really helped me just deal with the overwhelming amount of information that was coming at me. I had so much more misunderstandings around my diagnosis that I was not aware of before coming into the academy. And so just having the support of being able to know what this is stemming from and having someone then say, well, I have tried this and this has helped me, but we're all different neurodivergent individuals. I think a lot of the times with ADHD people when we try something and it doesn't work for us, it can be extremely discouraging. But when you're in this group of people who are able to say, I tried this, it didn't work for me, but I did try this and it did work for me, it's a little more encouraging in my opinion. Basically. Exactly. And I think that was the first time that I really had the safe space to have the allowance to troubleshoot. If that makes sense. Interesting. Yeah. Without having this Academy, I just did not have that support of knowing that it's going to take a few tries for I find the right fix for myself. And I think even in those times that like we know that for ourselves, that countless amounts of falling on our faces can be extremely discouraging. Yeah. And so just having other people tell you like, yeah, it did take me a few times to troubleshoot this and also seeing them come out on the other end. It's just very motivating. Yeah. Can you give me an example of one of those fixes so that if you're a listener, I could sort of see how you did that? Because I think there's a feeling of like, well, sure, it took you a few tries. would take me a million tries. Yeah. So for example, one of the things that I wasn't aware of before coming into the ADHD Academy is the idea that like you need dopamine in order for neurodivergent people to have what I like to call executive function points, if you will. And I had gotten into this point in my life where I was so hard on myself. for being neurodivergent that I wasn't allowing any space for dopamine into my life. I was just like drill sergeing myself, trying to get myself through these activities, checking off these tasks on my list. And so through engaging in dopamine activities and having everybody tell me like, I tried this dopamine activity of movement, or I tried this dopamine activity of reading a book or listening to a podcast. We all have different dopamine activities, but like. It was through trying those things that I realized that I actually was just missing a little bit of fun in my life in order to get myself the energy that I just didn't have to continue to do the task throughout my days. I was doing a disservice to myself by trying to drill sergeant myself into doing something. The morning routines and the nighttime routines that I were doing before were just so strenuous. They didn't have any dopamine in them. And through going through the ADHD Academy, I was able to learn how to sprinkle a little dopamine into my day so that I can get those tasks done and actually have the energy to do it and enjoy doing it. Yeah. It is funny how commonly that is the case. Almost everyone we talk to, everybody we work with, there isn't enough dopamine and everyone feels like they have too much. They're like, what do you mean add more fun to my day? I haven't done half the things I'm supposed to do. Right. I think another thing is, is like when you're making that routine for yourself and you know that you have that dopamine activity to look forward to, even that can be a hit of dopamine. Like knowing that, yes, I have this like task that I have to do, but after I finish it, I have this amazing dopamine activity. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly. And even during and before and kind of like you said, like sprinkling it throughout the day. It's not, it's not like, well, at the end of the week you get... One hour. Right. That's not going to work for me. It's not by the middle of the week. I'm going to be like, I can't do this anymore. Yeah. No, very, very relatable. And I think a lot of people experience that. So I guess what would your advice then be for somebody who is in a position like you were, you know, they're feeling incredibly overwhelmed and they've got so much. information coming at them. Maybe this podcast is one of the many pieces of information coming at them. What advice would you give to that person? Like we were just saying about the dopamine, I think that's one of the biggest pieces is that you have to realize that a lot of the time if you're not allowing yourself to enjoy what is going on in your life the ability to attack the tasks that actually need you to be more focused and I don't even know what the right word is for having to concentrate on a task that you don't really like. But I think the best advice that I can give is like really allow yourself to reward yourself and stop punishing yourself for not being able to get things done because that's not going to give you the energy that you need to get the things done. Being kind and compassionate and patient with yourself is more likely to give you the energy or at the very least the motivation that you need to get those things done. And for me, I was able to find that through yoga. It taught me how to slow down and how to be patient with myself. But those activities can be anything for anybody. A mindfulness activity is exactly that. It's a mindfulness activity. It's an activity that you're doing that is asking you to be fully present with it in order for you to receive the benefits of it. So for some people, that can be jujitsu. It can be art. It can be gymnastics. There are so many different things that ask you to be fully present in it, but you want to make sure that it's something that you really, really enjoy. Because dopamine bonus. Oh yeah. A hundred percent. If the dopamine bonus is not involved, it's probably not going to work guys. Yeah. No, I relate to that. In fact, I think my one is podcasting. I love podcasting. You have to be. Really present. I love listening to podcasts. Yeah, you do. You really do. Like in order to receive the information that you're listening to or even that you're receiving from the listener that you're interviewing, like you have to be really present for it. And it's very rewarding. Yeah. High stakes conversation. Yeah, because I'm not one of those people who just like listens to like a reality show podcast. Like I'm an information based, obviously research based podcast listener. Give me all of the education, please. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Although I will say I have a bit of both on my podcast list. Yeah, when I'm looking for a real good dopamine hit, I'm a true kind of podcast listener. Oh, right. Yes. I haven't done that myself. I'm a bit. I'm not quite in the true kind, but I know so many people that's like really, really helpful. Yeah. It's not a good idea to get into true crime after you have kids and don't advise it. Speaking of kids, that was a perfect segue. The other thing we wanted to talk about was, you know, you became a parent for the first time during COVID. Your child is one year older than mine. So tell me everything, give me all the details, but also, you know, seriously, what was it like? becoming a parent with ADHD during COVID. Yes. So a very unique experience. I was seven and a half months pregnant when the lockdown hit here in the US. And crazy enough, I was actually getting ready for my baby shower and the venue called me and said, your baby shower is canceled. Lockdown is happening right now. Oh my gosh. And so it really did just hit me like a ton of breaks. And I think the inability to be able to plan for something like that hits everybody hard. But especially as somebody who was already ADHD and battles with planning as is, it was like a gut punch. I think it was helpful in the sense though, that for me specifically, it asked me to be a stay at home mom. I ended up having to be a stay at home mom with my daughter. And so I had that time to figure out a routine for me and my daughter. And because there also wasn't a lot of access to outings and stuff, I didn't really have a lot of things on my schedule either. But then when life continued to go on as normal, I really struggled with the emotional regulation part of my ADHD and how that was now showing up for me as a parent and how it was affecting my daughter. And me and my husband actually ended up going into couples counseling. simply because we realized that our experience was completely and totally unique. Like it's not normal to have circumstances that really take away all normalization of normal activity from you as a parents and then give it all back to you. That makes a lot of sense. And I think for a lot of people, you know, not everyone, but there are a number of people who became parents around the COVID experience. had their kids growing up, that was a big shift as well. So it is important to remember, I think, that is not normal because it feels, sometimes I think it can be so easy to be like, well, I guess this is the new normal, so it has to be normal and I have to be okay with it and I have to be fine with it. And if I'm not, that's like a me problem. Right. It wasn't until this year that I was really educated around the rejection sensitivity dysphoria that we can experience as ADHD people. and I was really starting to understand how that was showing up for me, especially as a parent and how it was affecting my daughter. And I cannot say enough good things about how the academy has allowed me to have a better understanding of how those things were showing up for me and how to better regulate and self-sue. Yeah, well, that's awesome. And in terms of your strategies, do you have any strategies for being a parent and regulating now? Yeah, it's funny enough, of course, as a yoga teacher, I have found a yoga family club. Well, if it works. You said try everything. Yeah. And that was one of the things that really shifted for me. I realized that if I wanted to continue to teach yoga, that I would have to figure out how to do that with the family. And so I've been starting to go to yoga classes with my daughter. And that's been extremely helpful for us, just having those spaces where we can practice. calming down with each other, but also practice being playful with each other, especially for parents who struggle with the ability of being over-sensorized. Those spaces really have helped me to cultivate playtime with my daughter that is not completely and totally dysregulating because it's in the middle of us trying to go about our regular day. And so doing things like that with my daughter have been extremely helpful. And she goes to aerial yoga with me. I do- Affirmations with her in the beginning of the day. I am definitely that stereotypical yogi mom That's awesome, that's so great Well, I just have a few questions. I ask everybody who comes on the podcast probably heard them by now So tell me a little bit about a professional achievement that you're particularly proud of I wouldn't really consider myself a very professional person So I would say probably the most professional thing I have achieved is becoming a yoga teacher. Awesome. That's wonderful. And do you have any, I guess, and this might be the same kind of answer, but do you have any professional failures that embarrass you and how did you deal with that? I like that question. I think failures and mistakes are embarrassing in any type of context, but especially when they're professional, right? Because we're not really giving that space to make mistakes or have failures. Yeah. So for me, and especially as a yoga teacher, I've learned that the progress is in how we treat ourselves when we experience mistakes and failures. And so for me, I've learned to deal with just offering myself some compassion and some understanding and know that it's inevitable to make a mistake. And it's never anybody's intention to actually fail and to advocate for it. Right? I was intending to fail when I did this thing. Like. That's never your intention. And I think, especially as an ADHD person, when we have that rejection, sensitivity, dysphoria kick in, we often will try to tell ourselves, are we getting these mind states that like really try to tear us down, believing that like the failure was on us and we intended to do that or it could have been avoidable. And it's just all a part of it. And just remembering to be kind and compassionate with ourselves when we're going through those hardships, because it's inevitable. Even in professional settings, especially actually. Especially, yeah. Because the stakes are so high. They are, and I think there's more of a feeling of discomfort. It's not. It's like this fake world that we've made. Not fake, but like no one is naturally in a professional setting. It's kind of a thing that we construct and then live in. I sound like a sociologist because I am. And then we kind of leave it and go back to our normal lives. Yeah, it is. You're professional being. Yeah, exactly. So what is your favorite dopamine activity? We've been talking about dopamine. Oh, man, I think my favorite dopamine activity right now is coloring while I'm listening to like an audio book or a podcast. Nice. I love that. Yeah. And also, that's dopamine stacking, for those of you who are a couple of two things, you know, to get the maximum amount, the shortest amount of time, that is the stuff we talk about. How would it be very ADHD if I wasn't trying to do multiple things at once? No, stack that dopamine. That's what we want. And then if you had an ADHD life motto or one of them, what would it be? It would definitely be a, we practice to cultivate, not to perfect. Love that. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on here for being so honest and sharing and taking the time to connect with us today, Whitney. I really, really appreciate it. Where can people find out about you? Tell us all the things. Yeah, I'm really not a very socially active person, but I do have an Instagram. You can find me on Instagram at whit_Simone. And yeah, you can definitely reach out to me on the socials or that social. Awesome. Wonderful to have you. Thank you so much, Skye. I really enjoyed this. 

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